As I dive further into the world of Facebook adoption support groups and meeting those within the triad, I am reminded on a near-constant basis how lucky I am to have to the open adoption relationship that I do have. When I was expecting and started looking for the family that Liam was going to join, I knew one thing for certain: I wanted it to be open. I wanted to receive letters and pictures, and have an occasional visit if that was something they were open to. Then, I met Heather and her husband, Darren. I immediately felt comfortable with her as we messaged on Facebook messenger every day, either before I headed into work at 9 pm or before I went to bed at 9 am. She was honest with me about who they were as a family and how they felt on certain parenting topics. When we all met in person for the first time for a late lunch, we worried that Mike and Darren would be too afraid to talk, but they lead the conversation until it was time for them to go home to their older son. I knew after meeting them that they were his family and immediately asked Heather to come with me to my next doctor’s appointment. We talked more and more, realizing that we were becoming friends just as much as anything else. She seemed to care so deeply for me and my health issues. When Liam ended up crashing into this world a tad early, I did not hesitate to ask them to come to the hospital that day. My heart swelled when I saw a picture of each of them holding him for the first time, and of him meeting his older brother.
I would be lying if I said it had always been easy. I’ve had times of hormones, jealousy, and grief. I’ve tried to run away from the situation, as I do when things get too deep or difficult. But, somehow, they have taken it all in their stride. I can’t count the number of times Heather has written a long paragraph of affirmation or called me to listen. Darren is always sure to update us on milestones and funny moments when we see them in person. They have taken us in seemingly as their own, and I’m proud to be so close to them. When Mike asked me to marry him this past Christmas, they were the first people I called, because it was so important to me that they knew.
So, even though I’ve said it before many times and many ways, I am forever thankful to you, Heather and Darren. For the love and respect you’ve always shown us. For the birthdays, and holidays, and just because visits. For the funny pictures and heart-warming videos. And most of all, never letting us doubt that you want us to be a part of your lives. I can’t wait to watch the boys grow up with you, and for you to be around when Mike and I add more children to this world. My heart is so full because of you.
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I am a wife, mother of two, and love anything and everything adoption. I am an avid adoption supporter and love to help others complete their family through adoption. If you love adoption too, Like and follow our blog! <3