This week’s blog features Matt and Amy, an inspiring adoptive family who have overcome the best and worst moments throughout their journey to adopt. They have embraced infertility, adoption heartbreak, the long periods of waiting to be matched, and finally the best moment- the successful placement of their first son. Now that their son is three, they hope to bring home another beautiful baby and navigate through the adoption process a second time. They are truly an inspiring family that radiates unwavering faith, love, courage and the passion to give another child a meaningful life. Here is their adoption story:
How did you two meet?
It had always been my hearts desire to fall in love with a good man and get married. Through several relationships in my life I thought, “maybe he is the one.” But, whenever I went to pray a novena, a prayer that is said for 9 consecutive days, that this person and I should get engaged and married, I never made it through to the nine days without changing the wording of my intention. Finally when I was single, I prayed to be called to the vocation of marriage and to find a faithful man who would be my husband. The novena I prayed was to Saint Therese’ – who sends a rose to let you know she has heard your prayer and has prayed to the Lord for your intention.
For almost a year before I met my husband a friend of mine suggested I date her friend Maria’s brother, Matt. I never met Maria and all I knew about Matt was that he went to school to learn to fix computers. So yeah . . .nothing like getting the vibe from your friends that if he’s single, you’re interested! Then, I met Maria. I immediately wanted to be her best friend. I asked her to tell me about her brother. She practically hit the ceiling when she jumped and replied, “I was hoping you’d ask!” She left that day with my picture and my phone number. A short time later I was visiting my friend who just had a baby and my cell phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number so I was going to let it go straight to voicemail, but my friends shouted “answer it!” So I did. It was Matt and he asked me out on a date. On June 17, 2004 Matt came to my apartment to pick me up for our first date. It was the first time I met him in person. When I opened the door to greet him he handed me a red rose. That was the first time I had ever been given a rose on a first date. And that was the last time I ever had a first date with someone.
On that date we went to see the movie Troy and went out to dinner. I remember the table we sat at had a lit candle on it and I almost set the menu on fire. We had a good laugh over that. I soon discovered that Matt, like myself, loves history, his faith and is an extremely kind and gentle man. We have been together ever since!
Matt & Amy
Describe your wedding day.
Matt and I were married in July of 2006. We were married in a Catholic Church and our reception had over 200 guests. It was a beautiful day not a cloud in the sky, but it was hot. We rented a limo bus for our wedding party and it arrived with a broken air conditioner. Other than that glitch, it was the happiest day of our lives until we were blessed with our first son. Our reception had great food and great music and plenty of dancing! I (Amy) was not nervous – only happy and excited to be marrying my best friend! Matt’s smile was so big the whole day our videographer said “I’ve never seen a groom smile so much!”
Our wedding day.
We are so blessed to have found one another.
Celebrating our marriage with our family.
Describe your adoption journey.
We began our adoption journey in 2010. We had used the CREIGHTON MODEL FertilityCare™ System (CrMS) which is a method of Natural Family Planning. The CrMS is also the basis for the new women’s health science, NaProTECHNOLOGY (natural procreative technology).
Through that journey I (Amy) discovered I had PCOS as well as some other issues. I underwent surgery and noticed some positive changes – however we did not get pregnant. Although we did not give up on conceiving, we both knew we dreamt of a large family. This is the point in which we started our adoption journey (in 2010). The first thing we started to do was save money. We knew it was an expensive process. We researched domestic v. international and looked into a program that offered adoption from Central America. We were not sure which road to take, but I remembered hearing Joel Olsteen suggest a prayer, “Lord, open all the right doors and close all the wrong ones.” We prayed that and it seemed that international adoptive doors were not “open.” Matt didn’t feel comfortable traveling to Central America, and we were told China had a 10 year wait. We decided on domestic and signed up to get our home study done. At the home study class we attended, we were the only couple there who had not already chosen an agency. We had several in mind – one was Golden Cradle (my Aunt and Uncle adopted my cousin through them years before, and they are located in New Jersey – and we liked their laws better than the laws in PA). When I mentioned Golden Cradle, the social worker conducting our home study class said “Golden Cradle is good, they are very ethical”. That statement “very ethical” stuck with me and “sold me” on them.
We signed up with Golden Cradle. We were matched and after about three months of excitement, unfortunately it didn’t work out. That’s the short story. The long story of that match involved the birthmother deciding to leave the baby in the hospital to “alter her state of consciousness,” and her getting arrested with the birthfather. Matt and I hired an attorney to call the prison and we found out she was not interested in placing the baby with an adoptive family. Then, the birthmother’s sister called me to see if we were interested in being the child’s foster parents since the birthmother’s other children were already spread out with relatives. It was a difficult decision, but we said no. We couldn’t bare the thought of the baby leaving our home. We just had to protect our hearts as much as we could.
Then, about eight months later we were matched again. Again, the birthmother decided to parent. Then, we were matched again. This match was unusual from the start – the birthparents were pregnant with twins and were considering placing one of the twins with an adoptive family. We were matched, but when it fell through, we were heartbroken, but we also knew it was the best decision for the family. We admire all the birth mothers’ decisions to consider adoption, who chose to parent their children in the end. It is a difficult and emotional decision to place a child for adoption. A few weeks later, we were matched again (these three matches happened in the same 2 month timeframe). We met the birthparents. We sat and talked for a very long time. The social workers were shocked – because the birthparents barely spoke two words to them. It was a good meeting. Then, they disappeared. The birthmother went to deliver at a hospital she did not ever mention to the agency. The birthfather called the agency and said they were still interested in placing. Golden Cradle called the hospital and the social worker said the birthmother did not want to place. We were devastated, heartbroken and confused. We honestly thought this was our child. Two and a half weeks later Golden Cradle called us. The birthparents changed their minds again. They wanted to place. They signed the paper work July 3rd . . . we met our son July 5, 2012. This was the best day of our lives. We are so grateful for our sons birth mom and we continue to honor her and the gift she has given us to this day.
Loving every moment with our son.
What moments do you love sharing with your son and hope to share with your future child?
We picture meeting him or her (or them)! We picture introducing him or her to his or her big brother. We honestly love every little moment as well as the big milestones. We love celebrating Christmas, searching for eggs at our giant family Easter egg hunt, taking our children to the farm to pick pumpkins, going to the Please Touch Museum, Sesame Place, the beach, parades . . .the list of things could go on and on. But we also love seeing our son every day, saying good morning, singing songs, jumping and splashing in puddles, saying our prayers together, eating dinner together and playing together. I (Amy) am especially grateful that Matt supported my decision to resign from teaching so I could be a stay at home mom. I love being there for as many moments as possible.
Dying Easter eggs.
Family day at the aquarium.
Vacation at the beach.
What do you love about being a stay at home mother?
I love being with our son every possible moment. I know my personality, and when I do something, I dive into it very passionately and devote all my time and energy to it. When I taught, I didn’t get done with work when school was over at 3pm. I brought work home, often trying to prepare a more interesting lesson, grading quizzes, tests, projects, etc. If I wasn’t preparing a lesson or grading, I was making up a new test or project. I also coached and helped out with service club and the TV studio club. I was blessed to work in education for 14 years! When I thought about going back to work, I just found me shaking my head no. I couldn’t leave my baby. I felt like if I was going to succeed as a mother, I needed to dive in – all in. I didn’t want to feel like I was dividing my energy between my students and my child. Matt wasn’t sure about my idea of being a stay at home mom at first. Matt works hard and has a good job, but my salary had always helped pay the bills. Matt, being a great husband and dad, was simply worried about security. Although Matt was nervous about the idea, he put his faith in the Lord and trusted that God would provide. And He has! I still work, just part-time. I often babysit my friends’ young children and I score SAT essays for Pearson. I also blog at prayerwinechocolate.com and I hope to make some income doing that as well. I actually enjoy working. I just needed a more flexible schedule in order to give Xavier the most of my time and attention.
I definitely plan on being a stay at home mom for a few more years to raise however many children we are blessed with. I am constantly thinking of ways I can still help provide financially, but still be home with my children most of the time.
Describe your second adoption journey.
We started our second adoption journey in June 2014 and we have decided to network ourselves. Since I am now a stay at home mom, we have the income to support more than one child, but paying an agency close to 30,000 is not exactly within the budget. We are making connections and telling everyone we know. We found an excellent adoption attorney who is keeping his ear out for us as well.
Waiting is the hardest part. Before our son, we didn’t really know how to cope. It was such a roller coaster of emotions. We finally learned to cope with the waiting by keeping busy. Matt has become very interested and good at woodworking. This is a new hobby for him and he loves it. Currently him and my uncle are building a deck onto our house. And since we have a three year old, it is not as hard to keep busy. I find that this time around is not as difficult as the first time. When I start feeling down about not being matched, I try to find new ways to get the word out about our hope to adopt. I try to think of new places to send our profile and new people to connect with. We believe God will bring us another child, and we hope and pray that will be soon!
Matt and Amy are still patiently waiting to welcome another beautiful child into their hearts and home. They hope to make a powerful connection with an expectant mother who is selflessly considering an adoption plan. They continue to spread the word of their adoption dreams through family, friends, social media and online adoption companies such as Your Adoption Gateway. If you would like to learn more about Matt and Amy, feel free to contact them at 215-550-1957 or message them directly through their adoption profile.
Share this article:
I am a wife, mother of two, and love anything and everything adoption. I am an avid adoption supporter and love to help others complete their family through adoption. If you love adoption too, Like and follow our blog! <3